Open Letter to Kamlesh Parmeshwari Narwana PDF Print E-mail

Krishen Kak

It is, as KP Narwana states, the season for open letters, and this is an open letter to you, KP Narwana, in reference to your open letters at http://swarajyamag.com/politics/why-create-false-revolutionaries and http://www.thequint.com/jnu-sedition-row/2016/03/10/kanhaiya-a-misogynist-and-false-revolutionary-profs-open-letter.

I am not a JNU-ite, nor would I wish to be one after reading your letters. They are rife with inconsistencies and imbued with ignorance. Is this how you were taught at JNU? You claim to know Comrade Kanhaiya’s real face which you saw when he unzipped his trousers. Perhaps you are confusing him with another revolutionary who sees politics in his pants. Then you juxtapose the fervour of Comrade Kanhaiya’s stream of revolutionary invective to you with the stream with which he was washing the soil of this land from the brahminical filth like you (and me) that oppress it. He should have aimed his micturating stream at you, rather than his logorrheic one, and cleansed JNU of a brahminist like you who are now reviling JNU’s progressive hero as an Orwellian “male chauvinist pig”.

Of course, KP Narwana, as you note, revolutionary fervour has always been characteristic of JNU’s progressives, but it is its eruption under the inspired leadership and guidance of Comrade Kanhaiya (as JNUSU President who, therefore, represents JNU students as a whole) that is widely being recognized in the revolutionary English mainstream media as the dawn of our land’s Great White, oops, Dark Hope. He has rejuvenated our country’s aging and beginning-to-age revolutionaries as the all-in-one worthy successor to the likes of Comrade Yechury, Comrade Kejriwal and Comrade Gandhi (the one who has politics in his pants).

Since you claim to have progressive antecedents yourself, I will use Derridan deconstruction to open your mind to what Comrade Kanhaiya really showed you. Or Hegelian sublation. Or Marxian dialectics. Or, yes, the kind of simplistic rabble-rousing rhetoric that JNU’s progressives seem best to be moved by.

I will start with your fixation on urine and on Comrade Kanhaiya’s urogenital equipment.

KP Narwana, you need first to understand the real and symbolic significance of urine.

Urine is that liquid the body produces the production of which being stopped the body will die. Since it must be produced continuously for survival, it is therefore the elixir of life.

It is also a potion of death, for from and with the water that is urine can be produced white phosphorus and saltpeter which are fires to burn with. Therefore, fire and water in juxtaposition are more potent than either of them is singly.

Understand, therefore, that urine is power.

It is your reactionary ignorance, KP Narwana, that you cannot see Comrade Kanhaiya’s revolutionary genius in his revolutionary comprehension that urine is at the same time an elixir vitae and a poculum mortis.

And therefore, KP Narwana, you cannot comprehend the literal and symbolic revolutionary expression of Comrade Kanhaiya spouting urine at you.

It is an environmentally sound, renewable and, therefore, progressive source of power.

Now to your reflections on Comrade Kanhaiya’s urogenital equipment.

Recall the hateful brahminist deification of an armed Durga slaying Mahishasura.

Now recall the JNU-progressives’ pamphlet with the subaltern history of the fair, brahminical Durga seducing the dark, subaltern hero Mahishasura and then cutting off his head, his neck gushing blood.

Comrade Kanhaiya, a savarna, breaking the bars of the Foucaultian prison of casteism, with Gramscian genius reverses this brahminical hegemonic paradigm.

Kanhaiya, named after the dark subaltern hero, tries to seduce the fair Parmeshwari, named after the brahminical deity, by unzipping his pants and brandishing his revolutionary weapon at you. Instead of kneeling before this gushing symbol of revolutionary might and drinking of the fountain of revolutionary youth, you latter-day Durga, with typical brahminical deviousness, try to wound him with your weapon of sharp words.

As you know, blood is associated with the lal salaam.

It is Comrade Mao, the great communicator, who communicated to the world that power flows from the barrel of a gun. It is Comrade Kanhaiya, the great urinator, who revolutionised the application of this communication by personally exposing to you in the JNU ecosystem that power flows from the barrel of his…..oops, gun!

Jai ho Mutradhari Kanhaiya, the Great Urinator.

So, KP Narwana, understand that Comrade Kanhaiya, with revolutionary ardour, has shown us that even more potent than the lal salaam is the mutra salaam. Of course, “uncovering [his] private part on road is completely normal” for him – how else can he seduce you parmeshwaris and, of course, if he does not urinate before you, how else can you see the power that flows from the barrel of his gun?

So, instead of fleeing from Parmeshwari, our asuric comrade gushed a mutra salaam to you. And drove you shrieking to your proctorial durg.

Victory to Mutradhari Kanhaiya, the Great Urinator!

Brahminists like you do not recognize this victory because you are blinkered by your orthodoxy. But revolutionary comrades like Yechury, Kejriwal and Pappu (who has politics in his pants), and the revolutionary JNU faculty and students celebrate with victory speeches and marches the humiliation of brahministic forces.

Jai ho Mutradhari Kanhaiya, the Great Urinator!

You refer to Mutradhari Kanhaiya’s inspirational mother Kanhaiyamata who, unlike you, is a true heroine of her gender. She, who birthed Comrade Kanhaiya, is proud of him, of his accomplishments and, it must follow, of his mutradhari understanding of gender dynamics. Note the euphonious connection of “pissant” and “puissant”. Kanhaiyamata seems to understand, as do fellow-revolutionaries, that the mutra salaam of this pissant revolutionary icon is his expression of his puissance. Yes, KP Narwana, this is his revolutionary tool to uphold female dignity. You have forgotten your Engelian family economics in that mental hospital (with a fancy name – “home economics” indeed!) to which you have been admitted.

Jai ho Mutradhari Kanhaiya, the Great Urinator!

What is Rs 3,000 in the cause of the Yellow Revolution? We are told Kanhaiyamata struggles to earn that amount a month to keep body, soul and family together. Her revolutionary son for one mutra salaam does not hesitate chucking contemptuously at your proctorial durg what it takes his mother a month of hard work to earn. Why? Because it is no loss to him; it is not from his own personal resources. It is capitalistic taxpaying money. As a self-sacrificing revolutionary, it is his revolutionary duty to exploit our resources against us, to live off the fat of the land even as he pisses on taxpayers who own it.

Long live the Mutra Revolution!

As a JNU student of history, you will have been taught of an emulable, progressive practice that appears to have been introduced to us in mid-16th century Goa, that of breaking brahminical idols and pissing on the pieces.*

JNU’s progressives want to break the idol of Bharatmata and piss on her bits. “Bharat ki barbaadi” and “Bharat ke tukde tukde honge, inshallah”, remember? And Mutradhari Kanhaiya spouts the way.

Jai ho Mutradhari Kanhaiya! May you be drenched yellow in the mutra salaams of those that you lead to your revolutionary mutropia.

Mutradhari Kanhaiya tells us his hero is Comrade Rohith (the worshipper of that subaltern martyr Yakub Memon). Brahminists like you traduce the revolutionary memory of Comrade Rohith by reporting his FB entry on Comrade Yechury that “He does Nothing…..I am of this doubt that Yechury sees his party as a `private’ agency…..While the comrades are having orgasms hearing him…..When was the last time we have seen CPI(M) arguing for something and achieving it successfully at national level????.....This is the problem when people like Yechury talks…..They will always be short of sense”, and his asking why these Yechury-revolutionaries had no Dalits in power amongst themselves even after 51 years. Brahminists like you traduce Comrade Rohith’s revolutionary memory even worse by noting that his suicide note did leave for posterity to be able to decipher his bitter disillusionment with his unions – “ASA, SFI, anything and everything exist for their own sake. Seldom the interest of a person and these organisations match” (http://www.ibnlive.com/news/politics/rohith-called-student-unions-power-hungry-in-suicide-note-later-struck-it-off-1194498.html).

And so Comrade Rohith sent a message to the revolutionary world by hanging himself with his ASA banner. He gave his blood, and could give it only once.

Mutradhari Kanhaiya is a more revolutionarily-aware student of the Yechurys of the world. Understanding that urine (fire + water, remember?) is a greater force than blood, and a renewable resource too, he can donate his urine as often as is needed by the revolutionary cause, and Comrade Yechury has already announced that the Mutradhari will water the revolution-parched soil of the revolutionary State of West Bengal.

Long live the Mutra Revolution.

Deep dialectical stuff, eh, KP Narwana?

You, KP Narwana, are a reactionary and need to re-educate yourself in the revolutionary new normal that is – (repeat after me, please) -

Jai ho Mutradhari Kanhaiya, the Great Urinator!

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*https://stephenknapp.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/are-hindus-destined-to-become-an-extinct-race/. See the approving allusion by Francis Xavier quoted in Charles J Borges, “Catholic Missionaries in the Estado Da India…..” in “Indo-Portuguese Encounters” ed Lotika Varadarajan, New Delhi: INSA and Aryan Books International, 2006, vol 1, p.29. In more recent times, the progressive UR Ananthamurthy deliberately urinated on a Hindu idol - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bengaluru/Malleshappa-M-Kalburgi-controversial-writer-and-scholar-shot-dead/articleshow/48729860.cms# - a practice supported as rational by the progressive MM Kalburgi - http://www.goanews.com/news_disp.php?newsid=5956.